Dating Apps For 30s
Laura Jane Williams, former dating columnist for Grazia said that one of the best aspects of 30s dating is being old enough to know what will be a waste of time and what won’t. 'I feel less at the whim of the guys on the apps. I used to want to accrue as many matches as possible, and then talk to as many men as possible too, but I just don't.
When you’re in your 20s, pretty much anything goes when it comes to dating. Singles tend to be more carefree and have more energy to date. Ya, breakups are hard but you’re young and you’ll meet someone later in life so it’s no biggie. However, when you’re dating in your 30s you may have more of a sense of urgency and there are certain things to keep in mind.
Here are the 6 things you need to know:
1. Happy hours are something to take full advantage of.
Many single people in their 30s are working full-time jobs. That means, they’re going to bed and getting up earlier than they were in their 20s.
“Happy hours are a great place to meet single people because it’s something social you can do right after work and still make sure you’re home at a reasonable hour,” says Paige, 32, from New York.
The telling truths: 10 reasons why dating in your 30s is different. Ain’t nobody got time for that: It turns out once you reach the post 30 age group, time becomes a more valued commodity. Life is busy and adulting. Deal breakers are actually a real thing: When you were 21, if he didn’t. Dating in your 30s can be intimidating, but without relationships, you feel even worse. The hardest thing is not to be alone. It is to have the impression of being put aside and not being part of society. While dating in your 30s as a man is more natural, it is two times scarier to be a single mature woman. The more you focus on it, the harder.
2. Looks stop being the number one priority.
Someone’s looks will still catch our eye, but won’t always keep your attention once you’re in your 30s. In other words, when you’re more serious about finding someone for the long term, things like values, politics, life goals, and interests will start to mean a lot more than a bucket list of physical traits.
3. Dating apps can become your favorite wingman/woman.
It’s a common yet legit excuse not to go out and meet people—you’re too tired after working all day. Singletons in their 30s may take their dating apps more seriously in terms of looking for a relationship because as much as they want to be out meeting people, often, work/life schedules may not allow for it.
“It may seem lazy to some, but at the end of the day, it’s easier and more relaxing for me to meet people online, while I am home relaxing, than spending an extra two to three hours out after work trying to meet women,” says Ryan, 37, from Sacramento, CA.
4. You’re not in your 20s anymore.
Remember being in your early 20s and seeing those obvious, older bachelors and cougars prowling around the younger crowds? You don’t want to be that older creeper.
“My friend and I went to this club we used to frequent in our mid-20s. After a few minutes and realizing that we were the oldest guys in the place, we left and went to a sports bar. The look I got from girls was like ‘check out the old guys.’ Those late nights partying at clubs are over,” says Mark, 35, from Atlanta.
5. You’ll want to know right away if it’s going anywhere.
Time flies when you’re in your 30s. When you realize that the next decade you hit 40, aka midlife, you’ll realize that you don’t have time to just “date for fun” anymore. Daters in their 30s usually feel like there’s no point in spending time with someone anymore if a date isn’t clicking after the fourth, second, or even first date. Next!
6. You can still be confused about what you want.
The truth is, people in their 30s may still be unsure of the kind of relationship they want. One day, you could be looking for your partner for life. The next day, you could decide you just want a friend with benefits.
“When I turned 36, I thought maybe I was just meant to be single. I wasn’t meeting the right guys and decided that I would be fine on my own. I could travel, date on my terms, and just live my own life. Then I met [Jay] and couldn’t imagine my life without him in it,” says Abby, 37, from Albany.
Being in your 30s is a transition period. You’re definitely not ‘old’ yet, but your not your younger self either. You may look like you’re still in your 20s, but you don’t feel like you’re in your 20s anymore. And this transition period is actually a really great time to date. It’s different than your 20s, you don’t just ‘meet someone out’ or ‘text you later.’ Dates aren’t formal but they are planned. When people aren’t interested, they know how to be mature about it. And you’re a little bit older and wiser too. Not much, mind you. But just enough to make things interesting.
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There are so many ways to relish being single in your 30s and 40s: investing quality time into your platonic relationships, indulging in much needed solo reflection, practicing self-care by way of spontaneous matinees or days devoted to pampering, and diving deep into your career journey. Loving and being comfortable with yourself on your own is likely the best homework you can do if you're eventually looking to step into the dating world. And when you are ready to meet potential partners, a slew of fairly intuitive dating apps are here to make meeting people just a little easier.
That said, as anyone who's waded through those waters knows, dating via apps isn't always as simple as swiping right. While there's arguably no right or wrong way to date, relationship experts have been weighing on the subject to help singles learn how to make the most out of using Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or whatever your preferred app is.
One such guru is Dr. Chloe Carmichael, a NYC-based psychologist and author of Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating. Dr. Carmichael has dedicated a significant part of her practice to helping singles in search of a partner navigate the often murky waters that are the dating world — without totally losing their minds. Ahead, find a few of her best tips for making dating apps work for — not against — you.
Consult Your Friends
Don't be afraid to enlist the help of your trusted crew. Dr. Carmichael suggests, 'Ask friends to review your profile. You might be surprised what signals you’re accidentally sending.' After all, who knows you better?
Stay Consistent
Because of the casual nature of using dating apps, it can be easy to fall into an on-again-off-again relationship with them. But if you're serious about seeking a relationships and apps are your preferred tool to meet people, Dr. Carmichael suggests sticking to a rhythm. 'To avoid a 'yo-yo' pattern with apps, try using them for approximately 15 minutes per day, or whatever amount of time feels best for your situation,' she says. 'This approach helps clients who tend to spend hours on the apps one week, then get burnt out and ignore them for two weeks.'
Best Dating Apps 2020 For 30s
Pick A Number
Dating Apps For 30s
As many singles have learned the hard way, it's common to feel overwhelmed once you've started swiping. Dr. Carmichael suggests implementing some simple management methods to avoid getting inundated or burnt out too quickly. 'Try aiming for a ballpark number of first dates per month,' she explains. 'This helps you pace yourself, which can be helpful since, oftentimes, if you’re the 'new girl' on an app you will get inundated with messages. If you’re getting overwhelmed by more invitations than you can reasonably handle, tell the overflow inquiries that they sound great but you’re having a hectic couple of weeks and that you’ll reach out later in the month. This helps you avoid a 'feast or famine' situation.'
Take Baby Steps
Dating Apps For 30s Uk
Maybe you're still mending a broken heart or just not totally ready to give up your single status — and that's great. If you're curious about getting into the dating game, but not quite fully there yet, it's totally cool to start with baby steps. 'Even if you’re not ready to actually date, consider setting up a profile,' suggests Dr. Carmichael. 'It can be encouraging to 'dip your toe' into the dating pool by just setting up a profile to see who messages you. This way you also build up a store of potential dates for whenever you’re ready.'